We are often taught in film and books that we need to be courageous, the lead character is always the brave one who triumphs over evil but how does that look in the real world?
Well from my perspective it can be very difficult. Putting your neck on the line is a significant risk. This can be a risk in many ways, from losing your career, family or even your piece of mind. It can make doing the right thing very hard which can in turn make us very bitter as we end up living a life fitting the mould of others and avoiding such brave actions as they may result in rejection or short-term loss.
So, we are left with a moral dilemma, do we take the risk, do what we feel is right for the greater good or stand down and protect ourselves? Well neither can seem to be the right path at times and both can come with heavy loses.
With this in mind it can be incredibly important to have a good internal compass, one that can guide you during such tough times. If you know what you believe in then it can make choice that little easier on the conscience as whenever we have a choice to make it nearly always incurs loss of some sort.
One of my favourite stories is about the donkey stuck between two equally tasting bales of hay and he doesn’t know which one to choose, in the end he can’t decide and he starves to death. This concept can be so relevant in our lives.
I made a comment on my Facebook page during the first lockdown which read ‘‘Restrictions create freedom for we are freed from the dilemma of choice and its resulting consequence”.
I think developing a clearer picture in my head about what I believe to be right can help with those difficult moments when we are faced with the uncertainty about what to do. And in addition, it’s also helpful to know that even with the best will in the world and a well thought out philosophy we can still sometimes get our choices wrong. Or we can do what we feel is the right thing and it still feel as though we have somehow got it wrong.
For me, having made the wrong choice can feel debilitating at the time. It can lead to a real decline in my overall mental health and lead to anxiety, low mood and an increase in troubling thoughts which can be very distressing at the time. Over the years of making bad choices, and there have been a lot, I try to go easier on myself. If I don’t then I just punish myself which serves no purpose at all but to make me feel really unhappy. That said, I still do it!
I think when we are thinking about taking a stand and putting our necks on the line knowing that it will not be the end of the world if we do get it wrong can actually make us act with more courage. To know that we can do the right thing and we’ll be ok whatever happens is incredibly empowering.
Ultimately life is a series of choices which navigate the course of our life and in turn they determine how we feel. For me ‘how we feel’ is all there is in life for we could have everything we think we need and if we don’t feel content with it then what’s it all for?
I guess knowing how I want to feel in my life has helped form part of my philosophy in life and is linked to the choices I make and the path my life takes me. Wayne Dyer speaks about this as ‘thinking from the end’. There have been so many years in my life where I acted on an almost unconscious level where I never thought about the effect my choices would have for myself and the people around me. It is only through becoming more conscious that I can be aware of the significant portion of my life where I have been asleep.
But as each moment in my life passes by, my philosophy changes. It’s not a static thing for me and is ever flowing according to life’s path, the books I read and the people I meet. For those are the best teaches. What I know today will tomorrow be yesterday’s ways, leading to a whole new direction the following day.
That’s not to say it isn’t without distress, those wrong choices can knock us off course and it can feel as though we have gone backwards but it is my experience that it is through our own choices, good or bad, right or wrong that we can truly learn who we are and where we want to go.
