I was sat on a bus today and I saw a wasp crawling on the window trying frantically to get out. What must have been the most frustrating part for the wasp was the fact that he could see freedom and was literally millimetres away from where he wanted to be but was trapped in a foreign land.
This reminded me of a time when I was away travelling, I was in a club in Sydney and in theory everything should have been perfect. I was in an incredible city, I was surrounded by amazing people and I couldn’t want for anything more.
But I felt as though I was in a bubble. I was in their world physically but there was a thin layer of glass around me which meant I couldn’t feel or enjoy the world I wanted to be in. I was in that moment the wasp on the bus.
The fact that I was so tantalising close to the ‘good life’ made my life so much harder. If I was sat in some shed in some run-down part of a town where the sun wasn’t shining and the music wasn’t playing then I do believe I would be happier. I wouldn’t be teased by a life that I wasn’t able to feel.
But the more I tried to feel this other life the further I became from it and the unhappier I became. But 11 years on I can analyse what was happening to me. I simply was not destined for the life that I really wanted at that time. At that point in my life I so desperately wanted to be someone, I so badly wanted to be accepted and respected.
So many years after that period in Australia what I did was I found a different world, a world where I fitted in and one where there was not a thin layer of glass around me. Destiny has a way of protecting you from a life that is not meant for you.