Personal

The root cause

By November 6, 2019 No Comments

Is there always a root cause for mental health issues?  Well that is a question I struggle to answer.

For me the answer is; there always is.  When I became severally depressed and suicidal in the autumn of 2010 I did not know what the reason was for my distress.  Truth be told I didn’t even realise I was not well.  I just thought my life is just so terrible and at the time I thought there was nothing that could be done to change the situation I found myself in.

That’s 9 years ago now and what I do have is awareness of my mood and mental health.  I can whole heartedly say that if things had been different in my life then I would not have been actively wanting to end my life. 

My life from leaving sixth form was based on the premis that if I obtained wealth then I would be happy.  I believed that; yes I am not happy but if I earn, say, £100,000 a year then I will find happiness.  If I drive around Sheffield in a sports car that most people cannot afford then I will be respected.  Respect was a big thing for me especially in a world where I felt disrespected by so many people in my life.

To me the answers to all of my problems were outside of me.  It is my firm belief now that the answers to my own mental health and happiness are within me.  You may have seen previous posts where I have talked about the reality of having wealth and power as tools for ones own happiness and the almost impossibility of them assisting in achieving contentment.

So to go back to the original question, there are root causes.  That feeling of not being popular, not being included and not being respected were all root causes.  We could go back a layer and ask why did I not feel popular or liked?  And we can keep taking layer upon layer off until we get to the real root cause to ones suffering.

I guess the deep root cause comes from in my case of a childhood where I did not feel liked or part of the group and things just built on this.  Then when my way out of these awful feelings revealed itself to be a false hope my world fell apart.  I literally had no foundations left and my world collapsed.

I always thought ‘something’ was going to make me happy.

I still have feelings of not being respected and not being included, even now at 32, for moments I don’t feel too dissimilar to that child aged 7 in the playground where I thought no one wanted to be my friend.

I didn’t have it bad at school or in my childhood and I still spent many years living an unfulfilled and unhappy life.  My heart goes out to children and adults who were abused or bullied.  The effects that has on such people is so destructive. 

Counselling offers that opportunity to take the layers back and to get to the real root of the problem because I believe that without doing this the problem still stays within and its begins to rot you from the inside out.  Exploring issues gets these problems out into the open where the power and destructiveness can be taken out of them and hopefully the person’s life can move on to more positive times.