By November 1, 2019 No Comments

It is my belief that there is a distinct difference in someone’s actions that differentiates themselves as identifying as successful.  Now before I go on it may be worth giving a definition of success.  Some may automatically think of success as financial gains, promotions in the work place or the amount of power one holds.

Now I must admit that I do agree that the above list could be deemed as indicators of success however, as I grow older and hopefully wiser the significance I put on those indicators diminishers as time goes on.

As I have recently launched my business with the goal of being my own boss and earning my money independently, this would rank very high in my measurements of success.  The ability to be in charge of your own destiny is a very powerful dream I have of achieving.

The feeling of confidence with oneself also seems to me to be an attribute to aim for and also a good measurement of success.  Much more recently the latter few examples of less materialistic goals have overridden my desire to obtain wealth.  But.  I am a very ambitious person and also materialistic and I do like nice things so the aim of being financially secure still does appeal to me.

It did dawn on me very recently as a lay in bed trying to get to sleep that the things in life that will really truly give me happiness are free.  When I am feeling anxious or maybe a little low in mood I know whole heartedly that no amount of money would get me out of those battles in my head.

I could be the richest man in the world but if I did not have peace within me then it would be worth nothing. 

The ability to engage in meaningful conversation with not only people I know but also strangers is an ability that no amount of money could give me.  Granted you may have a surface level of confidence if you pulled up in a Porsche but this would wash away very quickly as the course of conversation moved from superficial to a more meaningful place.

I know that when I am well and I can talk with confidence that I have it all.  But linked to this is some very serious financial opportunities that could be yielded from the art of nurturing the things in life that money cannot buy.

This is so because when you are genuinely interested in other people then people become genuinely interested in you.  And when you can interact in such a way that makes the other person feel important or heard then you create a bond.  If you have nurtured the art of confidence or the art of genuine interest then eventually I believe this investment of yours will come back to you in ways which you would never have imagined.

This is because people want you to be part of their life and this potentially will have multiple benefits to you.  When the skills that are gifted to us for free are put into good practice they open doors that you never knew had a key.

Well that’s my experience anyway.  The happier I have become and the more I have felt a genuine gratitude to my maker then the greater my ability is to have meaningful conversation with others.  It’s a win win. That said, in my experience such qualities cannot be exercised when you are not feeling like you or like you want to feel. That is why good mental health is priceless but not only that, good mental health can help you obtain what you want from life. It’s the source of true happiness.

So how do you start this.  Well that’s a good question.  It has to come from learning to love yourself.  I saw a quote today that read ‘’Confidence is not “they will like me”. Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t”.  When you can master that you are on the way to being in a position to offer your true self to others in a way that will create a feeling in the other person which means that they want to help you.  Which given time and ongoing nurturing may lead to the riches you desire.

Going into situation’s with a selfish attitude will not harbour such feelings in the other and the win win scenario will not work.  They will know what you’re after from the first word that is said. Genuineness is key here.

So finally, to summarise, the first step is to try and love yourself, then to work on confidence that is born out of falling in love with yourself.  Then entering into meaningful conversation with others where you have their interests (and subsequently yours) at heart even if it does not yield anything initially.  But rest assured nothing is ever wasted and the seeds you plant will eventually grow.

From the meaningful interactions you have with others your confidence will grow even more and the sequence will compound itself until you’re in a position that you never could have imagined.

But patience is important as it takes bloody ages!  But good things come to those who nurture their dreams.